longing

chaotic stillness

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Life goes.. forward
or does it trace its way back
one encounter at a time
to where it all began

like a jigsaw
that you try to piece
your whole life
only to realize
it was already complete

in the name of ‘experience’
you stumble
diving face first
into your destiny
resisting, accepting, becoming
what you were meant to be

faces, forgotten faces
surfacing from abyss
at the time of need
others with time
sink to the bottom
in the deep

faces, traces, erase it
a hand once held
an embrace once felt
that left a taste of divinity

this fading world
sweeps past
so quickly
where is the affinity?

cradling fragments
embedded in the core
of true Reality
I persist
hearing the memory
of a quiet surrender
long before
I can remember.

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the calling

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You are
with me
within me
every second
of every moment

Yet, I live the truth
of ‘You’ away from ‘I’

Yet I feel
this intense separation
from home
Like an unborn child
pulled away
from womb

Like the thirsty desert
that longs for rain,
an affliction
with no remedy for pain.

Sleepless at night
restless for days
Beloved, your memory
stirs me awake.

My trembling lips
heaped with sighs,
endless tears, in your name
are now running dry.

Without you, my essence,
how am I
to stay alive?

Calling out
my entire being
leaps,
gasping
for a breath ..

I miss you.
Take me home.

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sanity

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Your love, darling Beloved –
the essence of my madness,
keeps me sane.

union

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make me that part of You
that can never be separated
ever again

dervish-infra

clay

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Light
has always been there
never beyond reach
flickering
at times flaming wild
defined spaces
clear boundaries
but to have a heart
that has bled much
loved much
it is in darkness
that the human in me
comes to life.

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nightingale

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I often leap
to touch your colours
breathe in
your lingering taste

in agony, in ecstasy
I climb inside you
as you unravel
in my veins

in your garden
flowers blossom
like open secrets
and warm kisses
fall down like rain

your one spark
spun me in a trance
now lost in you
I have become insane

every single memory
leads me back to you
born out of love
my very existence
bears your name

tell me
oh darling Beloved
how can I stay apart then
and yet
remain the same?

h

touch

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aching
to be touched
by you

…..

art by Rudolf Bonvie – Dialog, 1977

h

goodbye

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your vague goodbye
drifts by
like a feather
in the sky

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glowing embers

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Beloved
give me a sip
of your flaming wine
consume me in your Love
intoxicated in you
I have come alive

with every bead
kohl stains, tears stream
from these tiny eyes
dreaming to behold
your beautiful face
they long to see your Light

my heart has grown weary
of looking for love
bleeding, it crumbles
revealing the subtle Truth
that quietly rests inside

Beloved
give me another sip
of your flaming wine
show me the way
to the tavern
or let me be annihilated
here, on your sacred shrine

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flowering lament

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the boundaries have dissolved
and music ceaselessly plays

held captive by your gaze
I have become a moth to flame

with nothing left to say
I am melting in this moment
slowly fading in your haze

embrace me
in your arms

and let me escape

…..

inspired by one of the most moving compositions I have heard : Lament by Jacaszek

 

silent revelation

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in our dreaming
we find each other
in forgetfulness
we look for reasons
questioning what only eyes can see
doubting what is to be trusted

where do the tears disappear to
where does the laughter come from
that void where all sinks in,
emptiness that consumes
over and again

I stand here 
still
looking out for you
your ineffable image, that echoing sound
distant rumble of your footsteps
still alive in my thoughts

taking a leap in remembrance
I surge towards you –
like a moon 
seeking fullness
like an empty vase
longing for the freshness of flowers

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distant home

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may I never forget
the revered value
of each feeling sacred
leading me back
to where I belong

h

∘∾∘

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ask from the dark clouds
or the flaming hearth
of endless nights spent
in waking eyes
that knew
neither rest
nor sleep

ask from the tears
that were too tired
to be wept
from the lips that bled
unutterable words
in sweet pain
of longing

all seeking
in unison
a window
a door
to reach you,
to enter
your perfumed garden
only to find
one full moon night
as if it were a dream
as if I needed to be pinched
in that fleeting moment
when I saw
you closing the window
me inside
with you
me inside
with the beauty unseen
with the timeless truth
giving me a dose
of intoxication
that will take
a few lifetimes to recover
that will take
more than
a few lifetimes
to recover

..

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show me
what it means
to belong

h

naked truth

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what a strange beauty there is
in learning from the opposites

I love freely
because I know how it feels
not to be loved

I appreciate little things
whole heartedly
because I know how it is
to be taken for granted

I try hard to understand
because I know how it feels
to be misunderstood

I am and I am not
yet I persist

I often smile at the sun
I seek light
because I have seen
the darkest of nights

I know what freedom is
because I had been tied down
for too long to a place
I didn’t belong

I long for my home
because I know how agonizing
that separation is

covered in thorns
I delight in soothing
someone’s pain
having drowned in tears
I delight in a smile on a face

yes, you can call me insane
because I know there is nothing
no nothing in staying sane

I know yet I remain a fool
hiding behind words
look how I spill
my heart out

how amazing it is, I wonder
to have learnt from contradictions

…..

photography by Nassima Rothacker : http://www.nassimarothacker.com

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aurora borealis

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look up
the magical show starts again
this arctic winter, to brighten my nights
a blazing flare somewhere
dazzling, colorful lights here
painting beautifully
a vivid december sky

I run across the snow desert
stand in an open space
surrendered to the alchemy
of beauty and brilliance
seducing the night

from the spectrum of my thoughts
to the lining of feelings
against the backdrop of amorous stars
reflecting off that glowing canvas, I see
every burning desire, dream and longing

…..

inspired from the fascinating show of northern lights I saw with my lil brother this morning =)

h

homeward bound

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the pain of longing
ferments me slowly
but what use
is this sweetness
when all I have desired
is you
take me with the flow
dissolve me in you
till no more of me remains
only you, only you!

love beckons

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your dusky glow brings me near
your persistent lingering, even closer
ever since I have found this bliss
ever since I have known you
I haven’t gone back
I only made appearances

in what I hold most sacred
my heart, my flesh
my soul, my worth
you are everywhere I see

don’t acccuse me of loving you so –
how am I to exist
when all I feed on is your light
how am I to breathe
when its your breath that fills my air

don’t let me yearn
for just a brush of you
let me dissolve in you and die
make me that part of you
that can never be separated .. ever again

……..

art by A. Andrew Gonzalez

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suave stillness

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in the solitude of the night,
as I lay amidst nebulous dreams,
something unknown and deepfelt
cut through the core, speaking of its presence

faces and forms dissolved
as the smoke of naked verse began to rise;
the stain of ruby drops deepened,
perpetuating the melody of longing

with trembling lips,
my lamenting soul began to utter  –
a few silent words laced with palpable sighs
of fragility, innocence and belonging

the clouds began to overshadow the midnight blue sky
and the hue of the sweet Beloved slowly descended
the incandescent lightning cracked open the dark sky
some unspoken fears, took flight into the state of oblivion

in the solitude of that night
after all was said and heard,
I lay drenched
in the rain of tranquility