the calling

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You are
with me
within me
every second
of every moment

Yet, I live the truth
of ‘You’ away from ‘I’

Yet I feel
this intense separation
from home
Like an unborn child
pulled away
from womb

Like the thirsty desert
that longs for rain,
an affliction
with no remedy for pain.

Sleepless at night
restless for days
Beloved, your memory
stirs me awake.

My trembling lips
heaped with sighs,
endless tears, in your name
are now running dry.

Without you, my essence,
how am I
to stay alive?

Calling out
my entire being
for a breath ..

I miss you.
Take me home.




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I often leap
to touch your colours
breathe in
your lingering taste

in agony, in ecstasy
I climb inside you
as you unravel
in my veins

in your garden
flowers blossom
like open secrets
and warm kisses
fall down like rain

your one spark
spun me in a trance
now lost in you
I have become insane

every single memory
leads me back to you
born out of love
my very existence
bears your name

tell me
oh darling Beloved
how can I stay apart then
and yet
remain the same?


naked truth

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what a strange beauty there is
in learning from the opposites

I love freely
because I know how it feels
not to be loved

I appreciate little things
whole heartedly
because I know how it is
to be taken for granted

I try hard to understand
because I know how it feels
to be misunderstood

I am and I am not
yet I persist

I often smile at the sun
I seek light
because I have seen
the darkest of nights

I know what freedom is
because I had been tied down
for too long to a place
I didn’t belong

I long for my home
because I know how agonizing
that separation is

covered in thorns
I delight in soothing
someone’s pain
having drowned in tears
I delight in a smile on a face

yes, you can call me insane
because I know there is nothing
no nothing in staying sane

I know yet I remain a fool
hiding behind words
look how I spill
my heart out

how amazing it is, I wonder
to have learnt from contradictions


photography by Nassima Rothacker :


fragmented lament

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warm forehead
smeared ashes
on the edge of insanity

slow destruction
utter chaos
in beautiful symphony

from wounds
your words, your face
and unspeakable agony

between these lines
no nothing
but your legacy
forever inscribed
in red ink


art by Michał Mozolewski


untouched melody

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there is pain
that lies hidden away
the pain whose source is unknown,
where it originates, why it is there
an almost unbearable heaviness
as if a huge tragedy transpired before
perhaps in some other lifetime
as if memory of the experience
has faded away
but the agony, the pathos still remain
a sorrow I can drown myself in
a loss, a separation, a heartache
that consumes me at times
and stirs up the unknown,
the unanswered questions,
the endless pain
that flows so smoothly
when little things, their deeper perception
spoken words, their hidden silences
a knowing touches me so
it is often then
that a liberating realization,
a strange yet familiar feeling
breaks open the shell
that encloses my understanding
of the world around me
of the depths of my own soul

healing light

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the wind blows, sweeping with it memories,
stirring all thats been buried within
the thread slowly pulls loose
and the pile of dead leaves starts to break away

I give in, standing in silence
letting go of the fragile thoughts,
releasing the shadowed dreams
letting the feeling pass

there is yet another sky, another shore,
another reason to keep a beating heart
distant from warm comfort of tears,
away from the agony of an infatuated lover

sometimes we need to be protected from what we want
for a deeper need to be fulfilled